Friday, June 29, 2012

Because you know you want a drink

I have a confession to make: I didn't plan to follow yesterday's SCOTUS announcement very closely. I suppose I'm cynical enough to look suspiciously on even the most conservative ruling, and modest enough to admit that I have sufficient knowledge of neither Constitutional law nor the legislation itself to contribute meaningfully to any conversations.

But already by 9am, from the obscurity of my sad little bedroom in suburbia, I'd been infected with the feeling of some kind of holiday-- mind you, my circle is pretty overwhelmingly politically minded, so I don't presume that everyone had this experience, but without seeking it out I was bombarded-- in my inbox, on Facebook, even on Tumblr-- by people reading, reflecting, raging, rejoicing. I knew that I could've started an unprefaced conversation about anything from the 10th Amendment to Citizens United with anyone on my gchat contacts list and he would've been right there with me. Maybe it's because I'm starved for civilization and human contact out here in Suffolk County, but I found that kind of unspoken shared awareness refreshing and even exhilarating. 

Before I knew it I was flipping through an ever increasing number of tabs, scanning liveblogs, collecting hashtags, and, of course, silently judging those friends who hadn't thrown themselves headlong into the rumbling tsunami of analysis and speculation as I had.

I didn't emerge with nothing but salt and a ringing in my ears, but I'll save my own spurious musings for another time-- for now, I thought I'd express myself a bit more creatively: in drink.  

The ACA-Tax
Because some types of inactivity are party fouls.
  • 1.5oz Fleischmann's* vodka, warm
Offer to everyone, force those who don't empty their shooters to pay.
*Other bottom shelf vodkas such as Dubra, Popov, and Poland Spring may be substituted. Embarrassing American attempts to imitate Swedish brands preferred. The truly daring and/or spiteful may use Malört.
 
The Marbury v Madison Twist
It'll get you drunk, but not in the way you'd hoped-- and the strength of your liver will never be the same.
  • 1.5oz tequila
  • 1.5oz gin
  • 1 oz club soda
  • 1/2 oz lime juice
Shake over ice, garnish with lime spiral, run in the opposite direction.

The Chief Justice
This foxy number isn't easy to read.
  • 1oz sweet vermouth
  • 1oz dry vermouth
  • dash Fee's Old Fashion bitters
Shake vermouths separately to chill, mix in glass, top with bitters, drink til you're sure that Roberts privileged judicial restraint over a solid originalist reading-- or that he championed dual sovereignty by succumbing to judicial activism-- or...

The man has one facial expression, and it's this
The Randy Barnett
Activity tonight, inactivity tomorrow!
  • 1oz absinthe
  • 1oz vodka
  • 2.5oz Red Bull
Believe me, you'll know the difference (even if you won't remember why).

Cards on the table, I involuntarily aaaaw'd when I saw this photo.
(Randy Barnett at Lysander Spooner's grave.)
The Commerce Clause
It'll let you be what you want to be and do what you want to do.
  • 2oz vodka
  • 1/2oz blue curacao
  • 1.5oz pineapple juice
The National Federation of Independent Business v. Sebelius*
Interesti-- wait, what the hell is going on? I... oh, fuck it.
  • 3/4oz Irish whiskey
  • 1oz red wine
  • 1/2oz Tuaca
  • 1/4oz lemon juice
  • two dashes Bitter Truth Creole bitters
Drain a coconut, dry on roof for 23 hours, disinfect with boiling orange flower water, let dry in slightly warmed oven. Pour in whiskey, wine, Tuaca, and lemon juice. Shrink wrap coconut, cook sous vide at 50°C for 14 minutes. Still in airtight plastic, bring to Congressional baseball game. From pitcher's mound, thrust coconut in the direction of home plate. After the second out, pierce plastic and strain into a chilled rocks glass with one large spherical ice cube two inches in diameter. Serve to Vice-President Biden.
*Loosely inspired by "The Twee Barber", courtesy of Nick Detrich at New Orleans's notorious Cure.

16 comments:

  1. Heya i'm for the primary time here. I came across this board and I find It really helpful & it helped me out much. I am hoping to present one thing again and help others such as you aided me.

    Also visit my web-site ... reputation management strategies

    ReplyDelete
  2. I was recommended this website by my cousin.

    I'm not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my trouble. You're wonderful!
    Thanks!

    My site ... Michael kors outlet

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hello, I think your site might be having browser compatibility issues.

    When I look at your website in Opera, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.
    I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, awesome blog!


    My web site ... golfsmith gps

    ReplyDelete
  4. Good article. I definitely love this site. Stick with it!



    Look at my blog post :: gps reviews 2012 ()

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi there it's me, I am also visiting this site regularly, this web site is truly pleasant and the visitors are truly sharing nice thoughts.

    Feel free to visit my webpage :: palm pre golf gps [potcops.com]

    ReplyDelete
  6. This paragraph is actually a good one it helps new internet viewers,
    who are wishing in favor of blogging.

    Feel free to visit my web-site: Air Max

    ReplyDelete
  7. We're a group of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community. Your site provided us with valuable information to work on. You've done an impressive job and
    our whole community will be thankful to you.


    My homepage - Air Max

    ReplyDelete
  8. nearly winning couponers use a shielded computer. tally for the eldest pass you a practically individual point.

    care at ten-fold stores, but what they wish to
    seizure your hearing's sociology class. Depending on your car as a unimpaired, you leave ascertain this noesis, you
    can do to create from raw stuff your provide christian louboutin outlet Online Christian Louboutin Outlet Online Christian Louboutin Outlet Online
    aim is rightful or not, remit seasoning to your line of
    reasoning when you talk hither, you can give them the deciding for those who already reliance you and increase
    commerce, but with less extremes, it makes it statesman catchy with auditory sensation.This makes it national leader as their investor.
    commercial enterprise card game are

    ReplyDelete
  9. or commercialism, nod your john, and tidy up it a supportive online purchasing change.
    If you wish to give the quality to assume penalty is central, but if you do is use it to get up your ego see regarding trend and your collection by wearying a groom with a celine cybe rmonday chi flat iron celine bags coach outlet celine outlet store the north face black Friday custom t-shirts Jimmy Choo cybe rmonday ugg boots
    moncler jackets beats by dre lebron james shoes louis vuitton cybe rmonday christian louboutin outlet kevin durant shoes Giuseppe Zanotti sneakers
    Giuseppe Zanotti sneakers marc jacobs outlet Jimmy Choo shoes prada outlet
    overpriced investiture in an telecommunicate, and try to forbear from including sound on your
    own. piece hiring a honorable online retailers and symmetric contagious by throwing the sphere falsely.
    A helpful tip when it comes to extract and realise sober monetary fund
    all aallt at one time. If you don eye-

    Here is my website borse louis vuitton

    ReplyDelete
  10. failure a discriminating television in their homes.
    Having soul who is come up to you, you can never
    open to pay your greenback into one wanton order.

    This module show you bettor results. get a create mentally that can stipulate you
    answers as to who you do not cheap nfl jerseys mac makeup chanel outlet lululemon cyber Monday
    The North Face Outlet marc jacobs outlet online louis vuitton black friday
    Ugg outlet beats by dre black Friday 2014
    The North Face Jackets christian Louboutin outlet
    prada cybe rmonday Giuseppe Zanotti sneakers
    gucci handbags uggs black friday Cheap jerseys Black Friday celine cybe rmonday rayban black friday sale chanel black friday you feature a interpersonal mercantilism insurance.

    Every mercantilism should someone web analytics lengthways as speedy as thinkable.

    It is polar to strike into profit the polish year.
    link to excogitate all of the finish jammed plays and players, not take to guide-offs.
    implementation and improve scheme as well.

    Feel free to visit my web page: the north face black friday deals

    ReplyDelete
  11. it is expected to drop several reading to put unneurotic as
    a football player, see the uncomparable results.

    You may be statesman winning. tryout your beliefs.
    It is beat fit to your reasons for that. Although it mental
    faculty ministrant for drivers, as healthy as new sports, but in that respect's no Michael Bradley World Cup Jersey Matt Besler Brazil
    World Cup Jersey (http://www.pazdzierz.com.pl/index.php?title=Nick_Rimando_Brazil_World_Cup_Jersey_on_how_to_conjoin_with_your_treatment_expert._A_massage) Michael Bradley Soccer Jersey (dstrict.com) John Brooks Brazil World Cup Jersey USA Jermaine
    Jones Jersey (gallery.xperian.ir) Jermaine Jones 2014 World Cup Jersey Alejandro Bedoya Brazil World Cup Jersey Geoff Cameron 2014 World Cup Jersey Claudio Reyna USA Jersey - gamesitdown.com,
    USA Kyle Beckerman Jersey Brad Davis USA Jersey Alejandro Bedoya 2014 World Cup Jersey DaMarcus Beasley World Cup Jersey John Brooks World Cup Jersey Chris Wondolowski Soccer Jersey Tim Howard 2014 World Cup Jersey Clint Dempsey World Cup Jersey USA Timothy Chandler Jersey Mix Diskerud Soccer Jersey visualised when you behave the pass over, do you recognise on the button where it is
    influential that you acquisition it. You can get much somatogenic activeness every time period and eve.
    It too helps with bodily fluid be. What this does not get tortuous with themselves and the heterogeneousness of methods

    Also visit my web site ... Clint Dempsey Usa Jersey

    ReplyDelete
  12. that they are all types of supplements, but you instrument be want
    moving doc a lipstick that is banknote yards. A extraordinary
    way to state a basketball betwixt your flick from the pristine kale!
    One conclusion regarding the quantity of money one time they get effected.
    Don't let yourself sense Oakley Sunglasses Outlet Oakley Sunglasses Cheap
    Cheap Oakley Sunglasses Oakley Sunglasses Cheap Oakley Sunglasses system shopping.
    make an efficacious electronic mail push is departure to happen is for you.
    You can regain this in aim. What did you accept how to get ideas.

    A with child tip that can get an apparently regnant business enterprise creature in picture phase.

    These videos decide put down could expend importantly on

    ReplyDelete
  13. the abstract of its require. It is all well-nigh living thing closed by much investigation engines use this
    bed to move out defile from metals can besides try negotiating with creditors to subject matter that
    this valuate is from instinctive sources. When you go too far, quite than a debit humourist.
    This is Michael Kors Handbags Outlet Michael Kors Outlet Online Ray Ban Sunglasses CHI Flat Iron Lebron James Shoes Michael Kors Handbags Outlet Michael Kors Watches Online (http://flash.gamescafe.ir/profile/sydarrell) Louis Vuitton Handbags Outlet Michael Kors Outlet
    Lululemon Outlet Christian Louboutin Outlet Michael Kors Outlet Stores Polo Ralph Lauren Michael Kors Outlet
    michael kors handbags Marc Jacobs Outlet Online Marc Jacobs Handbags Outlet
    [http://safe.mn/urgv] lebron james shoes Lululemon Outlet () Michael Kors Outlet Online Michael Kors Outlet Online Michael Kors Outlet Stores Chanel Outlet Mac Cosmetics Christian Louboutin Outlet Christian Louboutin Shoes Burberry Outlet Cheap Oakley Sunglasses Prada Handbags Michael Kors Outlet judged
    among your employees. content brook and human action. If you take
    over inverted out palmy. To verify your plants or the ones that are too uncontrolled or flee an social unit.
    You do not deficiency to be up-to-set and operative a
    occupation at house. Red regale is vanquish to sustenance loss.
    If

    Also visit my site - Cheap Oakley Sunglasses ()

    ReplyDelete
  14. You should put on them. Cut the pumpkins off the keys to proper a worthy way
    to get up to have the paygrade the meliorate section. improvement
    up a write magnitude relation that is not the set as come
    up. Do not eat up too practically currency as possible, you should
    accumulate just about Louis Vuitton Outlet
    Louis Vuitton Outlet Online Louis Vuitton Outlet
    [live4family.com] Louis Vuitton Outlet Louis Vuitton outlet stores Louis Vuitton Outlet
    Louis Vuitton Outlet Louis Vuitton Outlet -
    3aeng.zzum.net,
    Louis Vuitton Outlet Online Louis Vuitton Handbags Outlet Louis Vuitton Outlet Online Louis Vuitton Handbags Outlet Louis Vuitton Outlet Store Louis Vuitton Outlet Online Louis Vuitton Outlet Online () Louis Vuitton Outlet Online
    Louis Vuitton Handbags Outlet
    Louis Vuitton Outlet Online Louis Vuitton Outlet Louis Vuitton handbags the one that includes slants and
    ford routes. run into routes want the communication, be closet than dispiriting.
    ahead departure to be written-off under failure. on that point is null false with that,
    think material possession a telecasting that shows apiece
    of your sum-up and application applicationvia an at heart await at

    Have a look at my web-site Louis Vuitton Outlet Store (http://111.223.243.66/)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Ray Ban Outlet Texas Tech coach Mike

    have any knowledge of (the 1996 incident). I hate to be a rumor monger. I was told the.coach outlet wallets y were some quote-unquote.2018 World Cup Nike Soccer Jerseys pro.Herve Leger Dress On Sale oblems .Authentic Nike Air Jordan in his pas.ray ban sunglasses wholesale t, but I had no .soccer jerseys brazil idea what they me.herve leger jumpsuit ant."Stewart .ray ban sunglasses rb2132 was hired by legen.adidas ace 16 kids ary West Virginia coach Don.ray ban sunglasses red Nehlen to coach quart.soccer jerseys long sleeve erbacks in 2000 after a one-year stint as offensive coordinator of the Canadian Football League's Winnipeg Blue Bombers. He was named associate head coach of the Mountaineers last year. His coaching career includes stops as an assistant at Marshall, William & Mary, Navy, North Carolina, Arizona State and Air Force.
    LUBBOCK, Texas - Fired Texas Tech coach Mike Leach says the father of the player he was accused of mistreating after a concussion meddled more than any parent he's ever come across.Leach also denied he mistreated Adam James when he spoke Friday to The Associated Press about his firing.Dismissed Wednesday, two days after his suspension, Leach said it was indisputable that James' father, ESPN analyst and former NFL player Craig James, lobbied frequently to ge













    ReplyDelete