Direct quotes from my Muscovite professors during study abroad orientation:
"Russian medical care is actually quite functional."
"Ice is a very Anglo-American thing."
"Please take mosquitoes seriously. They're smart. They're city mosquitoes."
"Believe me, whatever your environmental concerns, they will go away in a day or two." (on purchasing fumigators to kill said mosquitoes)
Student: "You told us to get a 'traditional American gift' for our host families... what does that mean?"
Professor: "Ah... whiskey."
Student: "Uh... okay... what happens if they don't like it?"
Professor: "They will."
"Bring two pairs of pants. One for Church and one for the theater."
"Grammar is a mnemonic device."
"It's much worse than vodka. It's really very bad for you." (on diet soda)